Précision sur la rédaction du dossier pour les USA (part 2)

En ce jour d'insomnie :-( je décide d'ajouter la suite de ma folle semaine d'inscription au programme GE3!

Donc je m'étais arrêter à la fin de la journée où j'avais appris que j'étais sélectionné pour un semestre et que j'avais moins d'une semaine pour constituer mon dossier. Je reprends donc mon histoire le lendemain matin.

Voici tout d'abord une première version de mes lettres réalisées durant la nuit, d'où la qualité de l'anglais ;-) Les noms sont bien sur masqués pour le respect de la vie privée ...

Remarque: La lettre de recommendation, je ne suis pas sensé la connaître mais vu que c'est moi qui l'ai écrite ... je la met quand même ...

Première version de ma lettre de motivation :

For my last year of Engineering school at “Ecole Supérieure d’Ingénieur en Systèmes industriels Avancés Rhone-Alpes” (ESISAR) of the “Institut National Polytechnique de Grenoble” (INPG) I would like to complete a semester in an American University in order to reach an international carrier. It will improve my scientific skills according to my last year specialization at ESISAR and will keep me open-minded to other cultures and other conceptions of higher education. Such an experience will be, without a doubt, beneficial for me.

I have chosen USA because the academic reputation for Master of Science in Engineering is at the top of the world rank for this kind of diploma and the possibility of improving my English

In accordance to my ESISAR specialty EIS-ISC (Electronique Informatique des Systèmes spécialité Informatique des Systèmes Complexes: Electrical and Computer Science applied to Control Systems), I would like to follow courses in Electrical Engineering with concentration in Control Systems.

In order to extend my abilities, I would like to add some courses of Financial Engineering in my program of studies. In fact, this kind of courses will allow me to apply the knowledge I have learn during my education at ESISAR, in particular with the Control Systems department. For instance Quantitative Finances requires skills in Modeling, Simulation and Optimization, skills I’ve acquire during the last years. This introduction to Financial Engineering will help me to choose a way of specialization after my Engineering School Diploma.

Moreover I have a good academic level and a strong motivation in the courses concern by this diploma. The good knowledge of the English language I have acquired during my two months work in Ireland will allow me to follow the teachings without difficulties. In fact, I have strengthened my expression and my comprehension, either for the everyday life, or for the technical vocabulary, as my TOEFL Score Report could confirm. The fact of following courses in a foreign language is not new for me: during my High School time, I have taken courses of History in German at a rate of two hours per week.

Première version de la lettre de recommendation :

Object: Recommendation Letter

Mister Alexis D. is at “Ecole Supérieure d’Ingénieur en Systèmes industriels Avancés Rhone-Alpes” (ESISAR) of the “Institut National Polytechnique de Grenoble” (INPG) for four years. He follows with success the two year undergraduate program and now is at his second year of graduate program in Electrical and Computer Science Engineering. I was one of his professors in Control Systems.

Alexis is a high committed and motivated person in his program of study. As his professor in Analysis and Control of Discrete-time Systems, I have quickly remarked his attraction for the Control Systems field and in particular for the modeling and simulation aspect of this subject. Moreover my other colleagues of the department told me the best about this student.

Moreover, Alexis possess great human’s qualities: He is an agreeable and open-minded person with a sharp spirit of analysis. From now, Alexis will spend six months in a project for a company at ESISAR in a team of three Engineering Students and it will improve his technical and management skills.

For all those reasons, I consider that Mister Alexis D. possess all the quality to follow an abroad program, in particular in USA. I deeply recommend him for a place in an American University.

Je me dis: elles sont un peu à chier mes lettres ... tiens je vais demander à Jessica (une amie américaine qui fait un an en tant qu'assistante de langues en France, recontrée quelques mois plus tôt) ...
'could u pleaz correct my statement of purpose & my recommendation letter ? ... Pleaz ? ... yes ... thanks u so much!!!'
... Donc j'envoie mes lettres et après quelques heures (heureusement je suis en projet et j'ai des trinômes compatissants ...) sur MSN à apporter des corrections, je me retrouve avec des lettres qui tuent tout (au format américain svp monsieur...).

Je vous en fait profiter car ça peut toujours servir (qui sait peut-être vous aussi un jour vous serez dans le même cas que moi mais sans amie américaine disponible pour vous aider ;-))

Lettre de motivation version finale:

Alexis D.

XXXXX

26000 Valence, France

+33 678xxxxxx

alexis.d@esisar.inpg.fr

January 26, 2007

Dear Admissions Officer,

During my internship at XXXXX, an international aeronautical company, I was shocked by my manager’s inability to communicate with his English colleague. Even though it was his job to work with this man on a regular basis, in meetings, the English colleague was forced to repeat each of his sentences several times. This difficulty cost our team valuable time and energy. It was the first time I became aware of the importance of speaking foreign languages in a business setting. When offered the chance to spend two months in Ireland the next summer, I took it, hoping to become more fluent in English. At the beginning, it was hard to understand conversations, particularly the everyday banter between two fellow Irish, but I really enjoyed the challenge of learning new expressions every day. At the end of the two months, I knew I had really improved my comprehension skills.

At school, I have chosen to focus on Electrical and Computer Science applied to Control Systems and with my degree, I hope to narrow my specialty even further. Spending a semester at an American University will open new academic doors for me. I would like to take some classes in Financial Engineering to extend my abilities. This kind of course will allow me to apply the knowledge I have acquired during my education, in particular within the Control Systems focus. For instance, Quantitative Finances requires skills in Modeling, Simulation and Optimization, skills I have excelled at during my education. Such an introduction to Financial Engineering will help me to choose a way of specialization after my Engineering diploma.

Furthermore, for an engineer, perfect comprehension and fluency in English is compulsory because it is the engineering language par excellence. With the globalization of the engineering profession, my English skills will be an undeniable advantage in the competitive job market. Linguistic skills are not unfamiliar to me: aside from English, I also studied History in German in high school for two hours a week. My English comprehension and ability to express myself, though already at a level that will allow me to follow the teachings without difficulty, is only a small step in the fluency I strive to reach. Living in an English speaking country for an extended amount of time is an absolute must if I hope to attain my goal of fluency.

I have chosen the USA, not only because the Engineering education is second to none in the world and the opportunity to improve my English, but also to immerse myself in a new culture. Understanding other cultures can help strengthen relationships within international companies, and a large and diverse country like the USA fascinates me. It is a country where different cultures and languages exist in harmony. Working together with people from different backgrounds and countries is a highly sought after skill, and the experience will no doubt be beneficial to me.

The opportunity to study in the United States occurs once in a lifetime, and I believe my strong academic record as well as intense motivation and desire for an international career in engineering make me a prime candidate for your university. I am highly committed to success, which will be apparent in the outcome of my studies and professional life.

Sincerely,

Alexis D

Lettre de recommendation version finale:

E. M.

50, rue Barthélémy de Laffémas

26902 Valence CEDEX 9, France

+33475XXXXXX

e.m@esisar.inpg.fr

January 26, 2007

Dear Admissions Officer,

As the Director of the Control Systems Department at “Ecole Supérieure d’Ingénieur en Systèmes industriels Avancés Rhone-Alpes” (ESISAR) of the “Institut National Polytechnique de Grenoble” (INPG), I have had the pleasure of knowing Alexis D for the four years he has attended ESISAR. For two of those years, he was my student and I had the opportunity to observe his work ethic and dedication to his studies. I am honoured to have this opportunity to enthusiastically recommend Alexis for your exchange program.

Alexis’ records prove that he has been an excellent student. His grades have been exemplary and his classroom behaviour provides insight into the type of leader he will become. He is adept at developing and implementing control solutions and consistently is able to lead a group to success in both classes and laboratory settings. I am confident his level of success in the future will be consistent with his past, if not higher.

Alexis has shown himself to be a dedicated and motivated engineer student. Having the opportunity to directly observe him in my Analysis and Control of Discrete-time Systems class, I was struck by his affinity for the subject, and how quickly and naturally the material came to him. In particular, he shows great aptitude for the modeling and simulation aspect of the Control Systems field. Further proving his interest is his chosen project for this semester: over the next six months he will be working full time for the biggest electrical company in France to develop optimal control and energy output of manmade dams. He will gain invaluable experience and understanding of problem solving and implementation in a real life situation. In speaking with my colleagues, they have only affirmed my opinion of Alexis: he is highly motivated and performs extremely well in academic and professional settings.

Yet Alexis shows depth and character beyond his own academic career. His participation in the community and extracurricular activities sets him apart from other students in his school. Despite a rigorous course load, he not only finds the time to involve himself in basketball, he also has joined our school’s Junior Company Council, a group of students who work to provide solutions to company’s real life problems. Through this council, Alexis has gained valuable experience working with everyday problems that may occur with software and computer systems. In his spare time away from school, he also tutors high school students in math and physics. He has shown he is not only well rounded as a student, but as a person and a member of his community.

For the reasons cited above, I highly recommend Alexis D for participation in this exchange program. His drive and abilities will truly be an asset to your establishment. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,

E. M.

Professor and Director of the Electrical and Computer Science Department at INPG-ESISAR

Donc voila voila mes belles lettres terminées, j'ai pu découvrir les joie de la traduction des cours que je dois suivre pour valider mon diplôme aux USA. Problème: Comment traduire quelque chose dont on ne connait même pas la signification en Français !!! Bon après la lecture de très nombreuses pages de sites web des universités américaines j'ai pu dégager une traduction de mes futures cours.

Bon là je vous la donne pas (enfin je vous l'épargne ...), de toute façon je vous pas bien à quoi ça vous servirez. Je reviendrai plus en détail sur les cours une fois sur place (enfin si je pars ...)

Bon allez je vous laisse jusqu'au prochaine épisode ... la très interresante partie sur les traductions des banques Françaises !!